tastes like chicken

''a blog with bite, but still goes down nice''... stimulating prose, insightful commentary, unabashedly poetic, and occasionally political (with a left hook). in a word, goodread. hope you enjoy it.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

i want my al-jazeera

"Can we bomb it? We should bomb it."

"No, I beg your reconsideration, Mr. President. If you were to bomb Al-Jazeera's headquarters, people in the Middle East would know your direct-guided missile did not accidentally land in Qatar instead of Iraq...and furthermore, Westerners might suspect you were attempting to stifle the media (ahem) again. It would be a bloody mess."

"So what you're saying to me, Tony, is that we shouldn't blow up that Arabic news station? I donno. I would feel more comfortable if we just blew it up. Wait, wait...just a sec. What's that, Don? We shouldn't be calling it a "news station"? You're absolutely right! It shouldn't be called a news station because they don't produce news; they deliver inexcusable information and actual images. We produce the news. Best darn news-makers in the world! Isn't that right, Condi? We sure got our ends covered over here. Paid out quite a bit for that right, but that's just part of being a democracy. Heh heh heh.

So, now, Al-Jaffira...Al-Jallawi...."

"It's Al-Jazeera, sir."

"Thank you, girl. Well they show too much stuff that people, our American people, heck, and especially Arab people, shouldn't see. They're using a different spin that we just don't use over here in America. And, they cater to terrorists, and you know terrorists should not have the right to use television. They shouldn't have any rights."

"That's already being handled, George. Our legal experts have concluded that no human rights need necessarily be extended beyond our borders. Nowhere in our Constitution or partially signed accords does it say we can not use force to render into shambles a terrorist-toting television network, or "terror-TV".

"Dick, you're always on top of these things."

"Thank you, George. Just doing your job."

"So, where was I, now?"

"You were rallying up support for bombing a potentially threatening enemy of freedom, sir."

"Who?"

"Al-Jazeera, sir."

"Oh, yes. Right. The terror-TV. Wasn't that already decided? Tony, didn't we already call this one?"

"No, Mr. President, not this one, I'm afraid. In fact, I was attempting to dissuade you from any action that would discredit our presence in the Middle East and further alienate the Muslim and Arab world."

"I'm listening, Tony, but I'm not buying it, yet."

"Well, Mr. President, the way I see this situation, Al-Jazeera has already received the message that our multinational coalition is serious...and, say now, if a memorandum of this meeting were to, per chance, find it's way to the press..."

"Whoa! Oh, no, Tony. I am not a president who stands for leaks of classified information!"


"Nor do I! I'm simply suggesting..."

"If I may, what the Prime Minister is implying is that a well-placed leak can affect a solid reminder of just who is in charge."

"You might be right, Carl. But, I donno. I don't like this leak business. I prefer to do business the old American way. Kaboom!...heh heh heh...Kaboom!"

DISCLAIMER
This article is a fictitious work. It is by no means a factual account, nor does it not intend to portray or represent any actual person, place or event.

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Thursday, November 17, 2005

american pie




"black sites" pie





white phosphorus & napalm-like pie
(official denial, followed by official admission of use as chemical weapons)






political campaigning for torture pie
(by the VP who has never been tortured, nor been to war)






"extraordinary rendition" pie
(also known as kidnapping foreign citizens)


Guantanamo prison's kangaroo court pie



misrepresentation of intelligence pie
(referring to pre-Iraq war, not G.W. Bush)